My dearest love, today I sat and thought, with every breath I took, of only you. I remember when we first got together like it was yesterday. Two people in two different worlds not knowing what life had in store. An opening of the door and there you stand, a man with a heart the size of the heavens above. One day led to the next, and then days turned into months, and months into years.

Today, you are far away and I'm unable to hold you, kiss you, or even tell you I love you every day, as we go through the hardest thing we have ever had to go through in these last years we have been apart. Yes, I miss you and can't wait to be able to wrap my arms around you and hold you close to my heart. Days go by and nights get longer. It makes me stronger and stronger. I want you to know that I will be here as long as it takes; one thing I want you to know is, I love you and you will forever be in my heart.

My love, I can not stand this. It is just too hard to be away from you. I am usually okay, but at times like this it just becomes too much to bear. I can not sleep most nights from thinking of you.

I just have to tell you, to share with you that sacred part of my inner, secret life, the thoughts I think that everyone has but does not always say. I know that sometimes pride gets in the way of expressing emotions. I believe that is the cause of my reticence in telling you how I feel sometimes, that and the fact that passion in an extreme state can be scary, you almost just want to shut it away for fear that it will eventually destroy you. I think of my feelings, my love for you not with craving or with hope or even desire, but just with a kind of wonder that such things could be. You have opened my eyes to how love could be. I can promise you this, I will never again settle for less.

But, at this time in both of our lives, we are surrounded by possibilities of choice, open doors, and wide horizons, which I know, may come between us. But I also know and hope that they could eventually bring us together, with both of us being better people for the time we spent apart. And so for now I function between maybe and maybe not. It's a strange mixture of love and sex and sorrow and hope and longing and faith. Even though you are far away, you're all that I can see, I carry you with me through all my days and I miss you more than I can say. I love you no less than if you were right here now.

I know I have a tendency to be impetuous at times - thus the reason for this letter. I love you and am waiting for the day when I can feel your arms around me again. In the window, I continue to stand...

-LM